“Hey Joi… how did you find that happy place? I’ve been looking for it for a long time.”

This question was dropped in my DM by a childhood facebook friend the other day. I told him that I would answer him but needed a couple days to think about it. To be quite honest, I’d never really thought much about the process that landed me here.

Happiness is a choice that I wake up and make every day. Somewhere along the short journey between 30 and 31 years old, I decided that pure unadulterated JOI was my number one priority and that I would not accept anything less. Although this list is not exhaustive, here are eleven steps I took to get there.

1. I untied my happiness from all other beings. All too often we intertwine our happiness with that of other people – our partners, children, friends etc. There’s nothing worse than being in a relationship with an unhappy person. Especially if you are someone like me who is incredibly empathetic to the people around me. I decided that I wanted to take responsibility for my own happiness, make that the priority. I also made the executive decision to cut off anyone who was taking me further away from my joy.

2. I surrounded myself with beautiful things. I invested my time and energy into designing a comfortable, inspiring and creative place to live and work.


3. I decided to only do things I like doing. From day one I knew that I would never have a traditional nine to five job. Nothing against that, I just knew that it wasn’t for me. I made a commitment to myself to only do things I like doing, every single day.

4. I started having more fun. I made play dates my number one priority. I started hanging out more with my girl friends, traveling, drinking too many mimosas at brunch and other debauchery.  I stopped taking myself so seriouslyyy and started to value the magic of play.

5. I adjusted my free(quency). Music has the power to manipulate your mood in any given direction. I started being more intentional about the type of music I was listening to and started curating playlists of some of my favorite sounds that I listen to everyday. Check out my Spotify Playlist, “No Bad Days”.


6. I mastered the Law of Attraction. I adopted an attitude of gratitude. I realized that being truly thankful for who I am and the opportunities that I’ve been given is the only way to be. I fostered a deeper connection with God, the Universe, nature, other humans, the planet and galaxies around me. Then, I was able to attract the perfect people, opportunities and experiences into my life. I stopped complaining about all the things I didn’t have and started celebrating the things I did.

7. I started letting go of all of the things that weren’t bringing me joy. Point Blank Period.

8. I started making more money. Don’t get me wrong, money can’t buy you happiness. And, I know “making more money” is way easier said than done. Folks that know me well know that money has never been a motivation for me. I’ve basically lived an (albeit fabulous) life of poverty all over the globe for the last several years. In fact, in my perfect universe – money wouldn’t even exist. But on this planet and in this time of ours, money is currency (energy) and can alleviate some of the stresses of just getting by.

One book that completely transformed what I thought about money and helped boost my bank account in a positive direction is Marianne Williamson’s “The Law of Divine Compensation”.

9. I started saying ‘NO’ more. The more you say NO the more you have time to rest, read, play and do other fun stuff that you actually want to do. Now, I plan full ‘NO’ days, uninterrupted play dates I make with myself to give myself the space to be free.

10. I stopped letting what was happening in the outside world dictate what was happening on the inside. Don’t get it twisted, we live in a truly f*cked up society in many ways. There are a lot of things shifting right now, culturally, socially and politically. I take all of the anger and sadness I feel and channel it into making things better. I create art, develop projects and try to teach the babies to make the planet better than it currently is. By channeling that energy into something.. I don’t let it foster inside as depression / oppression.

11. I fell in love with myself. I’m talking like truly, madly, deeply.. in love. Head over heels in love. I became my own favorite person. I became much more protective of myself and my heart. I started to forgive myself more. I became more gentle with myself. I started to treat myself as I wanted to be treated. I began to enjoy spending time with myself.. making myself laugh and taking care of myself. This was the major key to unlocking the Joi that was lying dormant inside all along.

If you have a question you’d like me to answer contact me.

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